Insanity in the Corridors of Power

There was a girl who was not the best of performers,
God knows how she managed to stay while everyday cutting corners.
She was hired for her looks,people started to scowl
but the joining was 3 years ago who cared whether the means were fair or foul.
Looks might have given her entry but could not improve her performance stats,
Her chances of getting a promotion seemed akin to winning the Fields Medal in maths.
Well she saw the writing on the wall and decided to resign,
but fate had for her completely different designs.
She made the 2nd greatest(1st was the joining) mistake of her life,
By picking up a fight with Satan's wife.
She is the one on whom I've dedicated an ode before,
her ability to score 30/10 on snobbery quotient is a part of folklore.
I don't know what transpired between the two women,
but whatever happened was an omen.
It proved what the lesser mortals like me have been thinking all along
The management has lost it big time and cannot differentiate right from wrong.
when she had 5 days of her notice period remaining
She realized that her phone was ringing
her manager was on the other side of the line
and the result was particularly asinine.
They fired a girl who was serving her notice period and had nothing to lose
and this incident served as my muse.
It is true that the management has lost it big time
Not sure whether we should laugh out loud or whine.

A friend quit the company in May, and the epitomes of incompetence we have behind the glass room have still not found the time to send his PF forms to the concerned department. Another ode soon on the above episode. Hope reader fatigue is not setting in.

Scene- in the not so distant future.---

HR was worried about their lower bonuses,
Needed to save money, so they decided to stop the buses.

Employee’s inconvenience?? Oh that’s okay

Workers travel long distances in London, New York and Phuket.

Shuttle service was also discontinued,

Everything was fine as long as no one sued.

Plus this is India and not the United States,

Go to the courts if you want we have 100 like you waiting outside our gates.

You have the metro, the smart buses and the red tuk tuk.

We are not liable to provide transport, Don’t believe us? Refer to the employee handbook.

All we want is the work to get done,

And your cribbing only spoils our fun.

So do us a favor and stop this ranting.

Millions of people across the world are using public transport for commuting.

Saw a member of Corp affairs inducting new joinees…

She was rude to the core…so decided to dedicate to her this lore
The words in normal are what were said.
The word in Italics is what went inside her head.
“In the morning this is the register you need to sign”
Hope you miss it once or twice then we can carry out our evil designs
“This is where you all will swipe your access cards.”
I should have been walking on a ramp instead of walking with these retards.
“This is the research bay”
You guys will slog while I’ll make the hay.
Couldn’t hear more cause my work was calling.
But I find such behavior disgusting and appalling.

Chilly Office

Study links warm offices to fewer typing errors and higher productivity...
http://www.news.cornell.edu/releases/Oct04/temp.productivity.ssl.html

but since the damsels in our corporate affairs rarely find time to read such articles the office is always chilly and so amidst chattering teeth and shivering limbs another ode..

There is a place ruled by few,
A place rich with its brilliant hue,
That is colder than the subjects can bear,
Eskimo like dresses they need to wear.
Mails from the subjects the rulers detest,
Coz it affects their hours (8-5) of rest.
Temperature is a constant 23 ± 1 they say,
We have to agree; after all it is their way or the highway.
In the Harry Potter world there are Dementors,
They suck all happiness and create a dense chilly fog,
In our world we have these tormentors
Wanting our office to resemble a morgue.
It would be prudent for Corp affairs to read their history,
Especially the Marie Antoinette story.




For the readers: “Let them eat cake" is the traditional translation
of the French phrase "Qu'ils mangent de la brioche", supposedly spoken
by Marie Antoinette upon learning that the peasants had no bread. The
French revolution happened after that and she was executed.

Ode to Corporate Affairs

Well in the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.
1:2 - And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.
1:3 - And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.
1:4 - And God saw the light, and it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.. but the light has not reached one corner of the universe..and that is where my inspiration comes from. The HR department of my company...

There is a department, most hated,
Everyone wishes their demise with breaths bated.
Maidens Brainless and fair,
Run the department known as Corporate Affairs.
Logic & rationality are swept aside,
It's a final word - whatever they decide
They forget that they are a support function,
And carry their tyranny without any compunction.
Remove the coffee machine, stop providing spoons,
It’s harder to make us see the light than to go to the moon.
Pantry boys serve water and coffee in their room
All objections brushed away without a broom.
Smug faces but heads held high,
While all we do is sit and sigh.
Top Bosses, please take note
If ever it is put on Vote
Corporate Affairs would win the the most hated department hands down
Then please don't sit & frown
Support & respect of your subordinates u stand to win,
Not doing anything will be an unpardonable sin
So go ahead and make amends,
This is what yours truly humbly recommends